Carter always had a sense for the dramatic and today was no exception. The light hum overhead drew my attention toward the front door. Grabbing my jacket, I stepped out onto the porch into the biting winter air. The snow from last night’s storm was still on the ground and I shivered as I shoved my arms into the wool coat. I shook my head as the drone flew back and forth over the cabin. I couldn’t help but giggle at the box dangling from it that was three times its size. Yup, drama, Carter’s trademark.
The drone released the large box. Once it hit the ground I walked onto the snow, looking around for unwanted visitors before picking it up and rushing back inside. Carter was also known for being late. I had been expecting the box for three days; better late than never, I suppose. I placed the box on the kitchen table and made a pot of coffee. I wasn’t ready to open the box. I wasn’t sure when I’d be ready.
Double-checking the lock on the front door, I tried not to notice the box that seemed to beckon and taunt me. I had to open it I knew but, not now. I knew that once I did, it would change everything. I felt cold suddenly, even with the fire blazing in the fireplace, I couldn’t ignore the chill in the room.
I had fallen in love; my first mistake and it was one of many rules I had broken since joining the agency; I knew better. In fact, I had trained others in this very rule. But here I was, alone, waiting for coffee to brew while being summoned by a large box sitting on my kitchen table. I wasn’t ready no doubt it held my punishment for breaking the rules. My reputation as the top agent wouldn’t protect me this time or make me exempt. Of this I knew all too well.
Taking a sip from the large steaming mug, I chuckled thinking about the large box suspended from the much smaller drone. The hum sounded more like a scream of pain rather than a well-oiled engine. Carter, he was the reason I had found myself here. He was my handler, I called him my uncle from another grandmother; it was a joke that only the two of us laughed at. He’d offered me sanctuary here while things calmed down, while he convinced the agency that I was no threat. Judging by the late arrival of the box, things had not gone well.
1 Week before –
“You’re what?”
“I’m...”
“No, never mind, I don’t want to hear it again,” Carter turned and poured himself another drink without offering me one.
“How the hell did this happen, Darian? You know better! You’re one of our best! Do you know what the agency will do when they find out about this?”
“I’m quitting,” I began waiting for him to drain the last of his drink.
“You can’t quit; you know that. The agency doesn’t allow it, especially not in the middle of a case.”
“Things are different now and the agency also doesn’t allow pregnant agents in the field.”
“DAMN! Damn you Darian! The assignment was simple; infiltrate, gather evidence and get out! We’ve been trying to bring Alonzo down for almost ten years now! His father died before we could close the case and now just when we were so close...”
“He’s not what you think, what any of you think!”
“He’s a criminal, Darian! His father raised him to take over the business! He’s even better than his father was!”
“No, that’s not true! He wanted to change things, to make the business legit and he would have if...”
“If what?”
“I can make this right, just let me see him. He’s probably going crazy right now!”
“He’s on the run right now! You lost your focus, and he knows who you really are!”
Present –
He’d refused to take my calls after dropping me here. This was Carter’s cabin, well-hidden in the mountains only the extremely determined would venture here, still I found myself checking the locks and looking outside through frosted windows looking for movement and listening for sounds that would hint of a threat.
The box still sat unopened, and it was now or never. It seemed larger than when I brought it inside. I pulled at the seams of the heavy brown wrapping paper to reveal a box that was glued shut with what felt like cement; I was eventually able to pry it open. I exhaled. I had run at least a dozen scenarios of what could be inside; a bomb, cyanide, a heavy rope. It was none of those things.
One by one I pulled the contents from the box; a bottle of very expensive champagne of which I would not be able to drink for at least seven months and a charcuterie board with my favorite meats, cheeses, nuts and chocolate covered strawberries. Carter knew me so well. There was a file at the very bottom of the now empty box, my file. Then there was a phone, no doubt a burner that couldn’t be traced by the agency.
I unwrapped the tray of food and began nibbling as I opened and read the file. I had been discharged from service, the word, Honorable stamped in red surprised me. The agency had never acted honorably when it came to disobedient agents. The first page of the file was one that had been inserted without the agency’s knowledge. It was handwritten. I recognized Carter’s writing and his red pen, Congratulations, you’re free!
Free, what did that really mean? If I was free, then why was I here stashed away in the mountains where no one could find me? I felt more like a prisoner then when I had been captured by the enemy on my first assignment. I picked up the phone and pressed, 1; Carter was always, 1 and I was sure that hadn’t changed.
“You finally opened the box I see.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Darian Phillips, always the procrastinator.”
“You know me so well,” then looking at the box’s content now spread across the table, “so...”
“So, what?”
“What’s all this mean?”
“Just what the note says, you’re free; free to do as you please.”
“So, I can step outside this cabin without any fear of an agency sniper putting a bullet in my head?”
“Exactly.”
“Wow, you must have called in some big favors, thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, besides it was easier than I thought. I guess I caught the director on a good day.”
“That’s rare.”
“Indeed.”
“What about Alonzo?”
“You were right, he was trying to go legitimate. He brought a file of all his father’s business dealings for the past twenty years. Seems like he was building his own case against the old man.”
“It was true then.”
“What was true?”
“He played nice, but Alonzo hated his father. He blamed him for the death of his mother.”
“He proved that case too. Apparently, Cora Montez had been planning to leave her husband, when her cousin who had been sleeping with the old man betrayed her and told him everything.”
I needed to sit down. I knew how close Alonzo and his mother were. He’d just started middle school when she was killed in a car accident. I remembered him telling me that he suspected something, that her accident wasn’t really an accident. He never elaborated and I never asked him any questions. Everything made sense now; the fact that he wanted to prove himself honorable, the inner conflict with what he did for a living and how he loved me as if he could right the wrongs of his father by how he tried to make me feel safe amid the chaos that was his life. I knew our love would cost more than either one of us could imagine.
“So, who bought the champagne, you or the agency?”
“That was me.”
“Must have cost you a pretty penny; thanks, I didn’t think you cared.”
“Yeah, you did. You’re the daughter that I begged not to join the agency, but you defiantly did anyway.”
“Well, if I had had a father like you, I wouldn’t have felt the need to join the agency. Thank you, Carter, for everything.”
“Why did you?”
“What?”
“Why did you join the agency? With your education and skills, you could have done a dozen other things for ten times the money.”
“I needed to do something that no one else could or would do. I spent my entire life feeling like, like an inconvenience. My parents were too busy to even realize I was around half the time. When I stopped coming home for Christmas, they never asked why.”
“I’m sure your parents missed you when you weren’t around.”
“I know you’re just being kind. My parents...I just wanted to belong and to make a difference. The fact that there was no one at home expecting me, no family, no real family, waiting or depending on me was my biggest asset. The agency used me for the most challenging and dangerous cases because I was fearless and unencumbered by the distractions that can get you killed.”
“Damn Darian, you’re one messed up chick!”
“I know, but you love me, and you’ve taken good care of me over these last ten years.”
“Just doing my job.”
It was silent for the next several minutes as we listened to each other breathe on the phone.
“So, am I really free?”
“You’re really free.”
“I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“In a few months you’ll be a mom.”
“A single parent. My baby’s father doesn’t even know I’m pregnant and after everything that’s happened, I’m sure Alonzo won’t ever speak to me again.”
“You’re the strongest woman I know, this baby will make you even stronger. It’s your chance to be the parent you always wanted.”
“My biggest assignment yet.”
“Take care of yourself kid and you’re welcome to use the cabin for as long as you like.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“For disappointing you.”
“You didn’t disappoint me. Just do me a favor.”
“Of course, anything.”
“Be happy, okay? This work we do sucks you dry and takes everything. You’re one of the lucky ones that’s managed to get out with your life.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I’m always right.”
We both laughed, I felt tears welling in my eyes at the thought of never speaking to him again, of never working with him, trusting him to keep me safe. He’d been a godsend and he was more like family that anyone had ever been.
The sound of a helicopter overhead caught my attention and my heart stopped momentarily.
“Carter!”
“Oh yeah I forgot to tell you; you’re getting another delivery, but it’s nothing to worry about.”
“You must have known I’d want to stay awhile, so let me guess, rations?”
“Something like that. Take care of yourself and my god baby.”
Before I could respond the line went dead. I shoved the phone in my pocket and headed toward the door grabbing my coat on the way out. The chopper landed and a tall thin figure stepped onto the snow. I’d know that body anywhere, even dressed in layers of cold weather gear. It was hard restraining myself wanting to run to him but afraid to move. With his head down he headed toward the cabin. Just as he stepped onto the porch the helicopter ascended into the sky and out of sight.
“Alonzo, what are you doing here?”
Was I dreaming? Would the agency send my lover to take my life? After all, I had lied and betrayed him and them.
“Are you going to ask me inside?”
Without a word I turned and headed inside with him close behind. I was shivering, as soon as I turned toward him, he pulled me into his arms; we were both shivering now.
“Alonzo, I’m...”
“Shh...no words”
“I’m sorry.”
“Hard-headed woman, you never could do as you were told. I know, I know.”
“You know what?”
He pulled away slightly, pushing the hood off his head, then looking deep into my eyes he kissed me. We’d always done our best communicating in silence.
“Alonzo, what do you know?”
He placed his hand on my belly that had not yet begun to grow.
“I know you’re carrying my child. I know why you did what you did. I know I love you; I have since the moment we met.”
“But I...”
“Shh...you always have to have the last word.”
“I love you, Alonzo.”
He chuckled before kissing me again and pulling me close against his body. It seemed like forever before we moved or spoke again.
“What are you doing here?” I asked again, “I thought you were in...”
“I have a delivery,” he began before pulling a small box from his pocket.
I gasped at the sight of the velvet box in the palm of his hand. I couldn’t believe my eyes and it dawned on me that Carter had been in on this all along. One last gift from an old protective friend. I watched as Alonzo slowly dropped to his knee in front of me.
“Darian Phillips you have been the source of my greatest joy and the source of my greatest anger. You came into my life with a purpose that was not your own. We both were so sure that we could control the outcome, that we would have the last say, but we were wrong. I know who you are Darian, you are the woman of my dreams, the woman that I cannot live without and the mother of my unborn child.”
Then he opened the box, and I was amazed at the tears now welling in his eyes.
“Marry me, Darian. I need you so that I can smile again, so that I can believe that life is worth living; say, yes, so that I can breathe again.”
Tearfully I shook my head, yes then reaching for him I pulled him to his feet. Gently Alonzo slid the ring with the large diamond on my finger and smiled; his tears matched mine as he pulled me close. I pulled away slightly to look into his eyes. I saw something that I had never seen in the year that I had known him. There was joy and peace in the brown and gold flecks in his eyes that always showed when the light hit them just so. But what struck me the most, what made everything that Carter had said finally make sense; I saw freedom.
